Just around the corner

With the New Year being just around the corner, I was thinking of some resolutions that I will be making to improve my health, family life, and business. Worrying about failing to keep my resolutions, I searched the web and found this great article. I hope it helps you stick to your resolutions this year.

Top 10 Ways to Ensure Success with your Resolutions by Lori Radun, CEC

It has been said that 60-80% of New Year's resolutions will be broken within the first two weeks. Personally, I am not a huge advocate of New Year's resolutions because I believe in setting and achieving personal goals all year around. However, I do respect the fact that New Year's resolutions are very popular, and I understand that the New Year is a very logical time to start fresh. That being said, I wanted to share with you the top ten ways to increase the likelihood for success with your New Year's resolutions.
1. Stick to 1 or 2 important goals. Having a laundry list of all the things you would like to change in your life can be overwhelming. Your chances for success are much higher if you stick to 1 or 2 of your most important goals. This allows you to concentrate all your energy and focus on these goals. Once you achieve those goals, you can always set 1 or 2 more.
2. Be realistic. It's okay to think big and want the best, but it is more important to succeed, so be realistic. Ask yourself whether or not your goals are reasonable and possible. It is probably not realistic to set the goal of never yelling at your kids again. How will you feel about your resolution when your children test you on a very bad day and you yell? Certainly one can cut back on yelling and work to find alternative ways to deal with misbehavior, but an all or nothing attitude may set you up for failure, and feeling like you've failed can set you up for more failure. Instead, accept and honor your humanness.
3. Be specific. Be as specific as possible when determining goals. Articulate how you will measure success and exactly what you are trying to achieve. Making a resolution to lose weight is too general. A better choice would be to set a specific and manageable goal. For example say, "I will lose 25 pounds by June 30, 2006." Be specific when answering the what, when and how.
4. Connect to your motivation for achieving your goal. Why do you want to achieve this goal? Why now? Make sure your motivation comes from your heart, and not from your head. In other words, your goal should be something you really desire, and not something you know you SHOULD do. Really connect to why this is so important to you. Pay attention to whether or not you are being driven by fear or love. Beware of setting goals based on what someone else in your life thinks you should do. Your resolutions should come from your authentic self.
5. Examine your belief in your ability to achieve this goal. What do you believe about your ability to achieve your New Year's resolutions? If you have tried to reach the same goal many times before without much success, your confidence could be wavering. You could be feeding yourself negative messages without even realizing it. Be conscious about positive thinking. Remind yourself that you are capable of doing anything you set your heart to. Tell yourself every day that you have the ability to take the steps it will take to reach your goal.
6. Create a detailed plan to achieve your goal. Let's say your resolution is to eliminate the clutter in your home. But how will you start when the clutter is overwhelming? It may be helpful to break large goals into intermediate, manageable steps. Make a list of each area you need to tackle. Then break each area into even smaller segments that can be tackled easily. For instance, set time aside to clean out old clothes, then to organize sweaters, then to throw out old shoes, and finally arrange clothing by color or type. Don't forget to specify a time limit for accomplishing each of the smaller steps. Before you know it, the larger goal will have been met.
7. Recognize that you may encounter obstacles. Most people give up on their goals because they run into some type of obstacle along the way. Obstacles can be internal or external. Examples of internal obstacles include negative self-talk, limiting beliefs and discipline issues. Some external obstacles are the lack of time, money or resources. Know in advance what hurdles you may have to conquer.
8. Identify a plan of action to overcome obstacles. If you are trying to give up chocolate (I would never try this!), what are you going to do when you get a craving for chocolate, or when all your friends are chowing down on chocolate cake? Maybe your plan would be to carry a sweet substitute with you at all times. Or perhaps you could involve yourself in a fun activity when the urge strikes. If your obstacles are tougher and you need more support, consider hiring a life coach to help you work through your blocks.
9. Enlist the support of an accountability partner. As you work towards your goals, it can be very helpful to have someone in your life to be your support partner. Consider asking your partner or friend to help you stick to the resolutions you have set. Use this person when you are struggling and set up a plan to check in regularly with him/her. As a coach, I have the privilege of trading coaching services with my peers. My coach helps me achieve my goals, overcome any obstacles, and celebrate my success.
10. Celebrate success along the way. One of the most important things you can do for yourself is celebrate your small successes as you work towards your larger goals. Don't wait until the end to reward yourself. You deserve to be recognized for your efforts and your commitment, especially when your goals take a long time to achieve. If you don't celebrate on your journey, you will lose your motivation. So celebrate, celebrate, and celebrate!
I wish you the best in achieving your 2006 New Year's resolutions. If you fall off your path, remember you can always get back on. It's okay to take a few detours. No one said there can't be St. Patrick's Day resolutions, Easter resolutions, or even Independence Day resolutions.


Lori Radun, CEC - certified life coach for moms. To receive her FREE newsletter and the special report "155 Things Moms Can Do to Raise Great Children, go to http://www.true2youlifecoaching.com

"Tis the Season

Wow! What a busy time of year! I've hardly had time to think! I hope you all have gotten your Christmas shopping done, and had some time to sit and enjoy this time of the season. Often, I find myself getting caught up in the hustle and bustle of the season and I'm worn out before Christmas even gets here. I try to remind myself of the reason for Christmas, and quietly thank God for the Gift He gave to the world. I pray you find your own quiet time with God and spend that time drawing closer to Him and wrapping yourself in His love.

A friend emailed the following to me a couple of days ago. It's very sweet! I thought you might enjoy it.



DO YOU SMELL THAT?
A cold March wind danced around the dead of night in Dallas as the doctor walked into the small hospital room of Diana Blessing. She was still groggy from surgery. Her husband, David, held her hand as they braced themselves for the latest news. That afternoon of March 10, 1991, complications had forced Diana, only 24-weeks pregnant, to undergo an emergency Cesarean to deliver couple's new daughter, Dana Lu Blessing. At 12 inches long and weighing only one pound nine ounces, they already knew she was perilously premature. Still, the doctor's soft words dropped like bombs. "I don't think she's going to make it," he said, as kindly as he could."There's only a 10-percent chance she will live through the night, and even then, if by some slim chance she does make it, her future could be a very cruel one." Numb with disbelief, David and Diana listened as the doctor described the devastating problems Dana would likely face if she survived. She would never walk, she would never talk, she would probably be blind, and she would certainly be prone to other catastrophic conditions from cerebral palsy to complete mental retardation, and on and on. "No! No!" was all Diana could say. She and David, with their 5-year-old son Dustin, had long dreamed of the day they would have a daughter to become a family of four. Now, within a matter of hours, that dream was slipping away. But as those first days passed, a new agony set in for David and Diana. Because Dana's underdeveloped nervous system was essentially 'raw', the lightest kiss or caress only intensified her discomfort, so they couldn't even cradle their tiny baby girl against their chests to offer the strength of their love. All they could do, as Dana struggled alone beneath the ultraviolet light in the tangle of tubes and wires, was to pray that God would stay close to their precious little girl. There was never a moment when Dana suddenly grew stronger. But as the weeks went by, she did slowly gain an ounce of weight here and an ounce of strength there. At last, when Dana turned two months old, her parents were able to hold her in their arms for the very first time. And two months later, though doctors continued to gently but grimly warn that her chances of surviving, much less living any kind of normal life, were next to zero, Dana went home from the hospital, just as her mother had predicted. Five years later, when Dana was a petite but feisty young girl with glittering gray eyes and an unquenchable zest for life. She showed no signs whatsoever of any mental or physical impairment. Simply, she was everything a little girl can be and more. But that happy ending is far from the end of her story. One blistering afternoon in the summer of 1996 near her home in Irving, Texas, Dana was sitting in her mother's lap in the bleachers of a local ball park where her brother Dustin's baseball team was practicing. As always, Dana was chattering nonstop with her mother and several other adults sitting nearby when she suddenly fell silent Hugging her arms across her chest, little Dana asked, "Do you smell that?" Smelling the air and detecting the approach of a thunderstorm, Diana replied, "Yes, it smells like rain." Dana closed her eyes and again asked, "Do you smell that?" Once again, her mother replied, "Yes, I think we're about to get wet. It smells like rain." Still caught in the moment, Dana shook her head, patted her thin shoulders with her small hands and loudly announced, "No, it smells like Him. It smells like God when you lay your head on His chest."
Tears blurred Diana's eyes as Dana happily hopped down to play with the other children. Before the rains came, her daughter's words confirmed what Diana and all the members of the extended Blessing family had known, at least in their hearts, all along.
During those long days and nights of her first two months of her life, when her nerves were too sensitive for them to touch her, God was holding Dana on His chest and it is His loving scent that she remembers so well.

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I made a website where you can now order your candles online! Now, I can accept Paypal, Visa, and Mastercard. Let me know what you think. Personally, I think it still needs some tweaking. Email me if you have any problems. kmb077@yahoo.com Place your candle orders at www.theenchantedspa.com

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atmosphere

I truly love this time of year when I can relax to the warm glow and soothing fragrance of our candles. I turn off the lights, the TV, and just close my eyes, relax and thank God for all the things He has done for me and my family.
Candles can add to the ambiance of a Christmas party or dinner, casting a warm, soothing glow over your rooms. I found this article that offers a few tips on how to arrange and where to burn certain scents of candles in your home. I hope you enjoy it.



Posted on Wed, Dec. 07, 2005

Candles can help evoke festive holiday atmosphere By Rosemary Friedmann

Holidays and candles seem to go well together, and since candles are relatively affordable, there is no better or easier way to deck the halls.
Just the warm glow that comes from candles seems to set the party mood, and the color of the candles will enhance the decor as well.
For this Christmas season, try adding a few extra candles to the festive decorations, perhaps on the mantle, on the dining table, on the sofa table or in the center of the cocktail table, just to mention a few possibilities.
And remember that odd numbers are usually more interesting than even. One is better than two, and three are better than two or four.
The candles also are easier to arrange in an aesthetically pleasing grouping when the numbers are odd.
If the bedroom candle is scented, then consider that a bonus. Make that a double bonus if the candle is aromatherapeutic.
Candles can be enhanced with flowers, garland, tinsel, candle wreaths holly and much, much more. Just be sure the fire is far enough away from the decorations as is necessary for safety.
Light the candles about 10 minutes before guests arrive. It takes only a few minutes for the scented candles to start working, so there's no need to burn them for hours beforehand.
If the scent is perfumey, keep it in the bedroom or bathroom.
If the scent is spicy, then the kitchen or any other room is fine. You wouldn't want the scent to interfere with the smells of the food or the taste, either.
When using candles, be sure to dim the lights to get the best effect. Be sure there is enough lighting at critical places such as steps, but in general the atmosphere should be one of calm, serenity and peace.
Dimly lit rooms illuminated by the flickering candles will give you that ambiance.


Rosemary Sadez Friedmann, an interior designer in Naples, Fla., is author of "Mystery of Color," available at Barnes & Noble Booksellers and Amazon.com.
© 2005 The Sun Herald and wire service sources. All Rights Reserved.http://www.sunherald.com

The Dreaded "No"?

The two letter word: NO ©Tessa Stowe, Sales Conversation, 2005
Imagine that you are talking to a potential client and they say “no”, they don’t want your service. How does that make you feel?

First off, let’s be clear that a “no” is just a two- letter word consisting of “n” and “o”. These are just harmless characters and yet we attach so much meaning to them and give them so much power over us. We think a “no” says something about us and that our services aren’t good enough. We attach so much power to a “no” that it sometimes paralyzes us. We even fear a “no” so much that we put off, or avoid, having sales conversations as we run the risk of getting the dreaded “no”.

So when could a “no” be a perfectly reasonable response? A “no” could be the right response when:

*The potential client really has no money.
*The potential client doesn't have a problem you can solve.
*The potential client doesn't want the problem solved now. (If they say, “No, not now,” ensure you have a mechanism to keep in touch with them. A newsletter is ideal for this.)
*The potential client doesn’t want the problem solved at all.
*You don’t have the expertise or skills in the areas they need/want.

I hope you can see that all the above are perfectly valid reasons for someone saying “no”. All these reasons say absolutely nothing about you and your products and services. In these situations a “no” is the right response or outcome from the conversation. In fact in some situations you should say “no” first. I challenge you to say “no” to potential clients like this: acknowledge them for their interest but then say that you cannot help them at this time.
There are also times when you will want to say “no” to a potential client. If they don’t meet the criteria of your ideal client, you will know in your heart that you will not be able to offer them your best service. You may decide to say “no” to them and refer them on.

Not everyone needs to buy from you and that's fine. There are an abundance of clients out there. Yes? You know this as you have done the proper research on your target market and the problems they have. See how important that research was?

Next time you get a “no” welcome it. In fact, play a game and see how many times you can beat a potential client to saying “no”. A funny thing will start to happen. If you say “no” to potential clients, they will find you even more attractive. Contrary really, but then the sales game is full of contradictions. And that's just one of the many things I love about it.



WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? Yes, you can, provided you include the copyright statement above and this blurb with it: Tessa Stowe works with coaches, consultants and small business owners who are struggling to attract clients and hate selling. To learn more about this and to sign up for her FREE newsletter, visit www.salesconversation.com.

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